rating: ★☆☆☆☆

this book gets one star for being the first novel i've ever read in spanish. and that's me being GENEROUS. i hated this book after a while cuz it's fucking weird. i was roped in because the main character was a bisexual man. the book pissed me off because he kept calling himself latino even though he's from SPAIN. the story was so violent and sexist against women which doesn't always bother me enough to rant about it, but holy shit. his not-boyfriend who he sleeps naked with every night but doesnt fuck (🙄) choked a woman out and assaulted a bunch of people the first night they met and the main character loves him so much for it.

there's SO MUCH weird sexual shit, and not enough gay shit. first of all, he keeps calling this dog muscular and sexy basically and then the dog cums on him and he's fine with it. he also tells a story about how he came on a sheep's face in order to get ben to cum at the sperm bank as they watch each other jerk off. there's a scene where he's basically being molested by these french guys who are high and then one of them fucks himself with a PISTOL like literally puts it into his ass and cums and then the m.c. puts the fucking gun in his MOUTH to play russian roulette with it and is like damn this gun smells like shit. so nasty. then there's a part where he shits in his own bath and then a woman throws up in it and he sinks himself FURTHER into the water. god that was so fucking disgusting.

besides that awful stuff, the m.c. is just so annoying. he keeps thinking he's cool and deep and so misunderstood and everyone sucks but he's just a fucking asshole with ZERO redeeming qualities. he kicks a fucking cat!!!! he jerks off while watching his neighbor and it's SO weird. he's just a fucking dick to everybody he meets and thinks he's SO fucking superior. i'm sure i'll remember more awful things about it but THANK GOD no one has ever read it. i can't find anything about this damn book anywhere online. i was looking for support but didn't find any unfortunately.

rating:★★★☆☆

i read this book because ❤️jackie❤️ recommended it to me. it was a good read. i didnt hate it, and it did make me feel emotions. i even teared up at the very end. i read this as an ebook and in a physical copy i got from u**'s library. i don't have as many strong words about this book as i do the previous one. overall, it was an enjoyable reading. i give it three stars because it was entertaining, easy, and made me think a lot about my own life.

i like that ch*cago was mentioned of course. my favorite part of the book is when she realized that marrying that guy wasn't gonna make her life happy. i also liked that at the end, she doesn't immediately go off to marry ash. though, i don't like how hetersexual it was in that having a husband and daughter in another life made her not want to kill herself anymore. their relationship was very sweet though, even if it was just at the end. i also liked that it was a library of course. it was cute and i wish i could draw how i think the library looks in my mind.

what i DIDN'T like about the book... well there's nothing i hated necessarily. but one thing that annoyed me was that when her ex-boyfriend called her from mexico while she was in brazil, he said that they 'were on the same continent' which irritated me because NO YOU'RE NOT!!! those are TWO different continents!! also something i just thought about. why didn't she ask the librarian what her life would have been like if she DIDN'T try to kill herself? much to think about.

rating: ★☆☆☆☆

GOD. this fucking book. i can't believe i read it all in one day. this might be the the WORST book i've ever fucking read. one that's pissed me off the absolute most. one star is GENEROUS, believe me. i CANNOT believe this book is as popular as it is. it is just genuinely so bad. going off the top of my dome, the characters are fucking infuriating and awful people who i can't believe you're supposed to sympathize with. the other friend, cant even remember his name, the one who gets randomly fucking shot, had NO personality at all.